Reflections of a Homeschool Mom

     Homeschool.

     In my 6 years as a homeschool mom, I have found this to be a word that brings a wide variety of responses and reactions. People have asked if I am worried about socialization. They have expressed concern that my children would be too sheltered to function in the "real world." Others have wondered aloud if a mom could possibly teach her children all the subjects they need to learn without the benefit of formal training. Others say, "Good for you!" while still others shake their heads sadly and say nothing at all.

    The responses of fellow homeschool moms run the gamut between enthusiasm and excitement that they are not alone in the journey to others who almost seem to feel that my decision to homeschool is a throwing down of the intellectual gauntlet between their children and mine.  Among other moms, there are shared moments of mutual commiseration because our personal homeschools do not look like the tender, friendly, and fun learning environments displayed in the curriculum ads. Truth be told, most of us find that the real-life home school is much messier and more difficult than those stinkin' catalog photos of the eager student snuggled on Professor Mom's lap would have us believe!

      Personally, I love the idea of teaching my own. I do cherish the moments where things "click" and a new concept is grasped. I adore the flexibility and the fact that we can take a walk on gorgeous spring mornings and just plan to finish school late that day.  I have enjoyed the process of watching them each learn to read and continue to enjoy their love of books (although I must admit that my middle child is something more akin to an addict than a mere book-lover).

      However... there are those other days.

      I won't lie: There are days where I lock myself in the bathroom and turn the fan on just so the kids can't hear me weeping, days where I spend my after-school hours investigating boarding school options both here and abroad, days where I blow my top and make the girl from The Exorcist look dainty and compassionate. . . these are days where I sincerely wish that I had never heard the word "homeschool."  Does this mean I want to quit? Well... honestly, yes, sometimes I do. But does it mean that I will give in to that temptation?  No, absolutely not, and for several reasons.
  
     For starters, some of the aforementioned concerns have some merit. The fact is, I do not have the benefit of formal teacher training, nor do I have expertise in all subject areas that are required in my children's education. What I do have is a calling straight from God, and as long as He calls me to homeschool I will do it.  I dare not disobey. He has provided a wide variety of resources available to the average homeschool mom--tutors, tutorial programs with trained teachers in various subject areas, online classes, DVD courses, and scripted lessons. He has also provided me with enough intelligence to put it all together and to learn as I teach. Even without that, if my kiddos can graduate and score well on state exams or their SATs or ACTs, then He has shown His glory and made His power known in my evident weakness. And never doubt for a moment--if my kiddos do well, I will loudly proclaim that it was by the Lord's hand and not my own that they achieved success!

     Even if they do not become acedemic giants and breeze through college-entrance exams, I will not say God has failed. It could be that His plans are more far-reaching than measly human wisdom. After all, as all orthodox Jewish families know, ". . these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise," (Deuteronomy 6:6-7). I have no doubt that the greatest element of my calling lies embodied in those very words. I am to teach the children diligently about the Lord and His ways. I am to equip them with the "full armor of God" and to teach them to store up His word in their hearts, that they might not sin against Him (see Ephesians 6 and Psalm 119:11).

      I am  also to do my utmost to instruct them in the Word and encourage their personal relationships with God. It is also a major part of my job description--and one I am *ahem* somewhat deficient in--to LIVE out the very principles I am teaching... to not only read the Word, but do what it says in James' words (see James 1:22).  I have told my children on many occasions that, as I teach them the Word of God, I am also a student--learning to be more humble, learning to ask for wisdom and believe that God will give it, learning to submit my will to His--and that I am prone to error just as they are. But I must say that I sure would like to daily set them a good example of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, and self-control!

     Ultimately, whether I succeed or fail in training them to follow Christ is up to them--their choices to either live out what they've learned or to reject it. However, with all this in mind as a homeschool mom, I will do my level best to make sure they make their choice after examining it with scholarly diligence! And I will continue to strive to submit myself to the Lord and set a good example, praying all the while that each child will choose to commit their ways to their Maker.
  
     The best part is, in talking it all over with my God, both the wonderful moments and the times I loathe homeschool, I find peace. Oh, Lord, may my children find the peace that comes from a mind steadfast on You as well...

"I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice and now, I am sure, dwells in you as well. For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands, for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. . . .  But I am not ashamed, for I know whom I have believed, and I am convinced that he is able to guard until that Day what has been entrusted to me. Follow the pattern of the sound words that you have heard from me, in the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. By the Holy Spirit who dwells within us, guard the good deposit entrusted to you." 
2 Timothy 1:5-7,12a-14

  Scripture quotations are from the ESV^® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version^®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.