Service With a Smile

At our community group tonight (Note to any readers not from our church: Read "community group" as "small group," "Bible study group," "bunch-of-Jesus-freaks-who-hang-out-eat-and-pray-together group," or whatever you are most comfortable with...), we were discussing service. Interestingly, and very likely not coincidentally, God has been dealing with me in this area recently. Specifically, He has been working on my heart in the service I provide to my family.

I will be honest, I have been chafing at the bit a little lately. There are so many unfullfilled desires--time to work out, a house that stays clean for more than 10 minutes, hikes I would like to take, time to write, conversations I long to have or people I would enjoy spending time with without having to break up a sibling argument or find a lost hair barrette... and plenty of others. I am ashamed to admit that my thoughts have dwelt far more on these things of late rather than on my husband and children. I must even confess occasional stabs of jealousy at my husband's workout time during his lunch hour. I turned these cares over to my Father in prayer, and He replied, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow Me."


This is not what I wanted to hear.


"But God!" I argued, "I am so tired! I need to somehow teach these children, manage my household, minister to my husband, and the list just goes on and on and on. I badly want to get back in shape, but for that I need time. And sometimes such and such a thing irritates me so. I just don't feel that I can deal with it anymore. Wouldn't this scenario be a better one for my life? I really think I would have more joy if only You would change ______."

"... let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow Me."

"Lord, I feel like that is all I've ever done is deny myself! Remember _____ and _____ and _____? Can't I, just this once ______?"

"...let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow Me."

"Oh, but it is so heavy! I want to serve You with joy, but my cross is too heavy for me and I feel I am just trudging ahead numbly."

"Heavier than the weight of all sins of all time, past, present and future? Heavier than My Son, who was with Me since the beginning, enduring separation from Me--not because He sinned, as you have--but because He chose to bear your sins out of love? Is your service weightier than His, child? Deny yourself, take up your cross daily and follow Me."

So here I am again, absolutely convicted and not really liking it; praying for the grace to follow Him and for the desires of my heart to be aligned fully with His.

Father, please turn my heart around and make me Your faithful servant. Help me to carry the cross You have given me, not because I must, but because I love You so. Grant me the grace to take up my cross daily with an attitude of eager privilege, participating in some minute way in the sufferings of my Lord and Master. Give Your servant a greater love for You and a lesser love for my own comforts and cravings. May I yearn only for more of You. I ask for this grace in Jesus' name, amen.

Scripture quotations are from the ESV^® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version^®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

The "S" Word

The first day of school is staring me down. I have just a bit more shopping to do, and then I will be out of excuses. Oh, I could make plenty more, but the fact is that we simply have to get started around the time the public schools do or we will be plugging away while they enjoy their Christmas holiday. There's also the simple fact that it is bloody HOT outside and I would rather take a few days in the fall, if there are days to take, than right now when it is miserable outside. And so, the Davis Academy will soon be in session...

The truth is, I am looking forward to school this year. I know it will be cumbersome and at times I will long to be free of it, but if I can get my attitude right, I can enjoy this precious time with my children. That is the hardest bit for me, I think, having the correct attitude. It really all comes down to where my focus is. . . and to where it is not.

The prophet Isaiah wrote, "You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You." I have found this little sentence to be absolutely true in action. When I have no peace, I find that my mind is full of my own problems or the dirtiness of my house or the burdens I carry and not of the Lord. When my mind is fixed on Him, well, the house is still a mess and my chores are still endless, but I do not have the anxiety that haunts me otherwise. I can be a regular Snow White, whistling while I work.

As this school year is about to kick off, it is my prayer that all moms, including myself, will have our minds fixed in the will of our God and King each and every day. I pray for all of you out there; that when mundane drudgery comes sneaking in to rob us of joy, we will ignore it completely, so focused are we on the glory of the One we serve. I pray that this attitude of worship and resultant peace will infect our pupils and children as well, and that this school year will be a year of spiritual victory. I pray that love would be the word that forms the root of everything we grow; that our parenting, teaching, learning, and living are all done on a foundation of love. Finally, I pray for those who do not know God and to whom this sounds like a bunch of foolishness--for you I pray that Love will find you anyway, and that this foolishness will someday make sense to you, too. Anything runs the risk of sounding foolish if we do not understand it, so Lord, enlarge our understanding!

Scripture quotations are from the ESV^® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version^®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.