From Sorrow to Joy

 Save me, O God! For the waters have come up to my neck. I sink in deep mire, where there is no foothold; I have come into deep waters, and the flood sweeps over me. I am weary with my crying out; my throat is parched. My eyes grow dim with waiting for my God. 
Psalms 69:1-3

     These verses described my mood for a couple of days last week. I had been feeling low and heavily burdened. Private sorrows seemed to swell and requests that I felt compelled to offer with boldness had largely seemed to go, not unanswered, but unheard. Despite a 2-day respite in headaches, I still struggled with fatigue and a sense of despair, feeling that I can do nothing well. At the time, it seemed that chores and duties had stacked up until they threatened to overwhelm me. I was struggling to keep my head above water.


O God, you know my folly; the wrongs I have done are not hidden from you. Let not those who hope in you be put to shame through me, O Lord GOD of hosts; let not those who seek you be brought to dishonor through me, O God of Israel. 
Psalms 69:5-6

     My heart was out of kilter, and my mind was more on myself than it was my God. It could be called a reasonable sense of mingled anticipation and sorrow during an "eye" of the headache storm. However, it was more properly an indulgence in self-pity. And it was not hidden from God. Repentance was called for as was  a lessening of concern for my perceived needs and a greater concern for whether my life was an accurate reflection of the Lord's goodness or a distorted, useless one. 

But as for me, my prayer is to you, O LORD. At an acceptable time, O God, in the abundance of your steadfast love answer me in your saving faithfulness. Deliver me from sinking in the mire; let me be delivered from my enemies and from the deep waters. Let not the flood sweep over me, or the deep swallow me up, or the pit close its mouth over me. Answer me, O LORD, for your steadfast love is good; according to your abundant mercy, turn to me. Hide not your face from your servant; for I am in distress; make haste to answer me. Draw near to my soul, redeem me; ransom me because of my enemies! 

Psalms 69:13-18

     I needed Him then and I need Him now. I cry out to You, oh God! When I wander from Your presence, even when I allow my attention to stray even for a moment, I am quickly lost. My cross seems heavy when I forget what Yours weighed. In my weakness, I plead with You to drag me out of the pit I have stumbled into, to return the meditations of my heart back to Your goodness and love. I can never wander so far or fall so low that I am out of reach of Your hand. The light of Your mercy will always be a beacon to draw me back should I turn my feet from the path and become lost in the gloom. 

I will praise the name of God with a song; I will magnify him with thanksgiving. This will please the LORD more than an ox or a bull with horns and hoofs. When the humble see it they will be glad; you who seek God, let your hearts revive. For the LORD hears the needy and does not despise his own people who are prisoners. Let heaven and earth praise him, the seas and everything that moves in them. 

Psalms 69:30-34

     For my God is worthy of my unmitigated praise and devotion. It is for His purpose that He created me, and all that He allows in my life is meant for my ultimate good--to prosper and not to harm me, to give me a future and a hope. I easily forget sometimes that my future and hope are not bound up in this world, but in a place beyond human reason and rational: a place eternally in the Presence of my King. It is easy to think that pain on earth is eternal, for while I am experiencing it here, it feels eternal. Yet I need not let my feelings affect my belief in and trust in the Lord. He is good when my circumstances are not; He is life when I walk through the valley of the shadow of death; His word is Truth when I am bombarded by conflicting and confusing messages. It is for His sake that I repent of self-pity and once again serve Him willingly. I have said that He is worth every last drop of strength that I have, that even if I am poured out entirely in His service, it is good. He is worth it.
     I have said it; now it is time to live like I mean it.

My strength is Yours, oh God! Use it as You will and forgive me when I complain. Bear me up when I am in pain and when the pain leaves and I am weary. You are worth it, and I will serve You with my whole life, no matter my circumstances. 


 I will extol you, O LORD, for you have drawn me up and have not let my foes rejoice over me. O LORD my God, I cried to you for help, and you have healed me. O LORD, you have brought up my soul from Sheol; you restored me to life from among those who go down to the pit. Sing praises to the LORD, O you his saints, and give thanks to his holy name. For his anger is but for a moment, and his favor is for a lifetime. Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning. 
Psalms 30:1-5

Scripture quotations are from the ESV^® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version^®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.