Busy, Busy

The law of the LORD is perfect, reviving the soul;

the testimony of the LORD is sure, making wise the simple;

the precepts of the LORD are right, rejoicing the heart;

the commandment of the LORD is pure, enlightening the eyes;

the fear of the LORD is clean, enduring forever;

the rules of the LORD are true, and righteous altogether.

More to be desired are they than gold, even much fine gold;

sweeter also than honey and drippings of the honeycomb.

Moreover, by them is your servant warned; in keeping them there is great reward.

Who can discern his errors? Declare me innocent from hidden faults.

Keep back your servant also from presumptuous sins; let them not have dominion over me!

Then I shall be blameless, and innocent of great transgression.

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer.

Psalms 19:7-14

            In my life, I have found that it is one of those sneaky, presumptuous sins that gets me in trouble the most often. One of them, my pride, is also sneaky and presumptuous, but that is not the one I am talking about here, though it definitely qualifies! The one I am talking about today is just as insidious in nature, and in the past I often did not realize it was upon me until I was completely engulfed. It is one that now I find myself watching for over my shoulder as I walk down the path, hoping to catch it lurking and thwart it before it nabs me again. It is busyness.

     As a homeschool mom, it would seem that I would be more immune to busyness than the average working woman. But I am not. As a matter of fact, there is such a plethora of opportunities for homeschoolers these days that I have found it takes a great deal of focus and prayer to keep our day simple and our school focused on, well, school! I have fallen into the trap of thinking my kids needed other activities to keep them healthy and developing well. What I found down that path, however, was the contrary.

     I found that, rather than developing healthy and well-rounded character, the kids were cranky and had a bad attitude. As a matter of fact, the more I did for them, the more selfishness I was seeing out of them. The more I tried to follow their whims for dance, soccer, etc. the more I found that they seemed to have a sense of entitlement. The more playdates we had, the more sibling rivalry and argumentativeness I saw.
 
     Not only the kids, but I suffered as well. I was always run down and exhausted. With chronic daily headaches in addition to migraines that have plagued me since a bout of viral meningitis just before my 3rd pregnancy, I did not have the stamina to run the rat race. Keeping up with all these things left me depleted mentally, physically, and spiritually. I had little to give my kids, less to give my husband, and my housework seemed to pile high enough that it threatened to crash down and bury me. Worse yet, my non-negotiable morning Bible time was ending more frequently in my wiping drool off the pages of my beloved Book where I had literally passed out while trying to read or pray. Far from allowing those streams of Living Water to flow through every aspect of my life, I found all our activities was stemming the flow and putting up dams where there should have been reservoirs.

     Now, mind you, I did not see all this at the time. I was merely surviving through each day. It wasn't until I had had enough that I cried out to the Lord in desperation and complete misery. And He answered, as He always does. He showed me that I was setting my priorities by worldly standards of success and not by His ancient and wise standards. As a result, I was reaping worldly-minded children and training them less in Godliness and more in busyness. I was not giving them an example to follow, either, as I was so strung out and battling so much pain that I was shrewish, angry, and irritable more than anything.

     God showed me where I had taken on tasks or set agendas that had never been in His plan for me or for the kids. He gently helped me unburden my schedule and learn how to say, "no" unless I heard a "yes" from Him. He showed me how I can allow Him to set my priorities and how to trust Him for the results. I still face the temptation when a fun or interesting-looking program or class comes along. However, I have learned my lesson and if my Lord says, "not this time," then I say "no" as well. I still have plenty of room for improvement, but let me tell you what a blessing the simplifying has been.
    
     I have been able to read and enjoy God's Word again, spent solid and heart-felt times in prayer both talking to and listening to my King. I have begun to see a reduction in sibling rivalry and an increase in them playing well together and enjoying one another. I have energy left over to spend time with my husband at the end of the day (well, some days anyway!). We have begun to really treasure the times that we all read the Bible together and are finding that talking about it when we sit down and when we rise is not that difficult when we are calm and focused on Him. Even more thrilling, my kids have each begun to read their Bibles for themselves, slipping off for some time alone with their God! That is one of the most exciting fruit of all that schedule pruning.

     Perhaps most importantly, I have understood more completely why Jesus told Martha that Mary had chosen the good portion and did not sympathize with Martha's plight. I am learning the wonder of carving out plenty of time to sit at my Lord's feet and just be with Him. Allowing Him to set my priorities means more opportunities to serve others arise and less to serve our own selfish desires, and at the end of the day, we are all more fulfilled and find that our service is often much more fun than we ever realized it can be. We have learned what it means when it is written, "It is for freedom that Christ has set you free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery," (Galatians 5:1). And most of all, I am learning how very refreshing the Law of the Lord is, truly and utterly reviving my soul -- and the souls of my children.

Oh, Lord, our Lord, how majestic is Your name in all the earth!   Psalm 8:9

Scripture quotations are from the ESV^® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version^®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.