After a conversation in my community group, something finally clicked into place for me concerning the entire topic of "gay rights" or "how the Church should address gay-ness" or "gay anything else for that matter." I have long harbored a niggling...something...concerning this topic that was eternally present at the edges of my consciousness but would not present itself in plain language at the forefront of my mind. Finally, finally, thanks to some of the comments of my friends, I have been able to put my proverbial finger on it.
What bothers me about the entire issue of how the church should address the gay movement is really two-fold. For one, due to the very nature of the issue, I am being forced to think about how someone else exercises a certain biological function that should remain entirely private. It isn't just gay sex that I find repugnant, it is thinking about anyone else's sex life at all that is odious to me. Perhaps I am a prude. I'm fine with that. But what I do not see is why, in this age of everyone defending their "rights," I do not have as much right not to have the entire world -- in movies, in magazines, and yes, in the gay movement -- jamming its sexuality up in my face and parading it in front of my children as the rest of the world has to make a public spectacle of themselves. I'm not asking for anything extravagant. I would just like to live a simple life free from discussions and visual aids to other people's private lives.
Folks, seriously here, if we are going to exalt something in humanity, surely we ought to choose something other than our sexual behaviors, deviant or otherwise--something unique to humans, maybe, like music or the ability to read? Don't mistake me here: there's nothing at all wrong with sex in and of itself... in its proper place (which is another rant for another day). However, when we strip sex of the purposes for which God intended--intimacy, children, family--we are not glorifying it but reducing it to its animal function. All the steamy movie scenes, all the rampant cleavage and seductive posturing, really only brings to mind animals in the rut. It is dehumanizing. To reduce an entire person down and define them by their sexual behavior is dehumanizing. I am troubled by the willingness of an entire group of the population to entirely debase themselves for the sake of a biological function that is less important than eating or breathing. That is one of my objections.
My second major issue is the media propaganda, which many in the Church are chomping down hook, line, and sinker, and that is the accusation that the Church has abused gays in the past and so now we must go to extreme measures to "show love" to them. Well... we do need to love them, yes, as we should love all people. That should go without saying. However there is "love" and there is "special consideration." Most of what is asked for these days is not to have compassion shown, but to have special consideration above and beyond what the average person should expect, and all this dressed up in pitiful array and pawned off as seeking to be "loved and understood."
One example of such drivel would be an expectation for a church to conduct a "gay marriage." That is just plain silly. If a person is participating in a homosexual relationship, they are already proclaiming that you do not believe the entire Bible and are positioning themselves outside the Church. Why, then, would a person want a church wedding if they do not embrace the church or are unwilling to lay down their life for the cause of Christ? It's just a craving for controversy, pure and simple; a desire to have things as one wants them and to hell with the feelings of others. In essence, it is doing to the Church what the Church has been accused of doing to the gay population. The controversy over whether or not the Church should be made to perform gay weddings is not a picture of a downtrodden and oppressed people group looking to rise above their oppressors; it is the adult form of a spoiled toddler throwing a temper tantrum when he doesn't get his way.
"What's the big deal?" you may ask. I'm glad you did. Think about it in these terms: A junkie should not reasonably expect the church to provide a smorgasbord of illegal substances to make them want to worship. A serial murderer would not reasonably expect the church to provide him a box to stash his weapons within while he sat in the pew. A porn addict should not reasonably expect the church to provide adult-content magazines in the men's room, nor should an adulteress reasonably expect the church to support her extra-marital affair. A gay couple should not reasonably expect a church to "marry" them. It patently absurd.
All of these folks--the junkie, the murder, the porn addict, the adulterer, and the homosexual alike--should expect to be told that Jesus's death was sufficient to cover the most heinous sins possible, that they can be forgiven but that they must repent, and that while He calls us to take up our crosses and follow Him, He is worth following even to physical death and always, always worth the death of our personal preferences. Anyone who truly loves Christ and therefore truly loves you will tell you the same. Your sin, whether it is homosexuality or lust or anger, is still sin and to be redeemed you must first repent of it, turning away from the sin and turning heart, mind, and soul to God. At the point of repentance, THEN any humbled sinner, no matter what their sin, ought to be received with wide-open arms as they work through the difficulties of living a repentant and renewed life in Christ and the pain of shedding the old self and putting on the new. But a person does need to be willing to let the old self go... and so we can see that my agreeing with God on what does and does not constitute sin is nothing personal. It is simply my new self loving my Father enough to say that His words mean more to me than my feelings or social approval.
One point I must make here that seems to be misunderstood in today's culture: Being told to repent is an act of love. It is a love that is not concerned with the short term but the long term, just as a parent forces vegetables into their children's mouths for the benefit of the child's future health. Sure, there are better and worse ways to do it just as there are better and worse ways to tell someone they have a boog hanging out of their nostril. Whether done tactfully or without tact, it is usually done out of genuine and sincere concern for the eternal soul of the unredeemed person. If it isn't, well, that is between the teller and the Lord, and I would not personally stand in the way. Jesus told people to repent out of love, and it is for that reason that I, along with all who are truly members of the Body of Christ, will say, "Repent! For the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!" It is not because I am angry and hateful. It is because I love you and want to spend eternity enjoying the presence of the living God with you.
As for the church abusing the gay community in the past, I'm sure there are isolated instances of gay persons being abused by people within the broad context of the church. Goodness, for that matter, every church congregation is riddled with unbelievers who are there being churchy but who do not actually know and love the Lord! Naturally in the church, with humans involved the sin nature can be seen clearly displayed and mistakes and problems happen. Any person, gay or otherwise, may have been hurt or abused by any other in the church. Even the most steadfast of Christian makes mistakes and is capable of slipping in the most vile ways, including the abuse or mistreatment of another human being. I have done it. Many of us have. The thing the media leaves out is this: if the abused peoples would search their own hearts, they would see that they have done it, too. We all botch things magnificently when it comes to relationships. It's called sin, and it's the reason for Jesus. The key is not to sit around licking your wounds and measuring them against the wounds of others (to each person, his or her wounds are always worse than their neighbors), but to extend the same forgiveness towards those who have abused you as you expect to receive from those you have abused. This is a teaching of Jesus, but it is also good, plain, common sense.
Besides, I am equally sure there are also instances of gay persons -- as well as straight persons -- feeling abused by the church because they objected to some of the less liberal teachings of Jesus. I can think of countless instances in my own life before I knew Christ that I was convinced someone was "judging" me when all I really felt was the uncomfortably squirmy feeling of conviction twisting my heart. So please let us take this media blitz with a grain of salt, Christians. Have you, personally, abused anyone, gay or otherwise? If yes, repent and ask forgiveness both to God and to that person. If no, then continue on your way, Soldier of the Cross, and do not let yourself be distracted overmuch by alleged faults charged to anonymous people that you have no control over. What is it to you? You follow Christ. That is all any of us must do.
These are really my two main objections. Now, allow me state for the record that I do not hate gays, nor do I think God does. Frankly, that is a cop-out designed to distract from the point. God does hate sin, and if a lifestyle is a lifestyle of sin, than that lifestyle is objectionable. I can hate drug addiction but feel compassion and empathy for the addict. It is no different. I object to the gay lifestyle--as much because it is flung in my face as anything else, and I do not object one iota more than I object to infidelity or promiscuity. In none of these cases do I object to the person, to the one who is deceived. In all cases, I feel empathy toward the deceived because I, too, once bought into lies concerning my sexuality (among other things) and while I never participated in any homosexual activities, I do not consider my sexual sins "better" than those of a homosexual. Mine were just as bad, and I object strongly to my past sins as strongly as I do any present sins, my own included.
I am incredibly thankful that I was rescued out of my sin by Christ--and you can be, too, no matter how tremendous your crimes against the living God. But if you cannot separate yourself from your behavior--for example, if you are merely "gay" and not just a person who struggles with that particular bent of sexual sin--than that is your affair. I cannot help you, but I do feel pity for you. I promise you that you are more than just your behavior, and I promise you that laying down any aspect of behavior or of personality for the sake of Jesus is worth it. You will not be sacrificing pleasure; you will be learning to take pleasure in new things--in fact, taking pleasure in the very Author of pleasure Himself! Even more, even if your sacrifice brings you only hardship and trial for the next 50-70 years, what is that compared to eternity? To follow Christ, we are asked to give up this world. That does not mean that all fun will be drained away, it simply means we will find ourselves drawn more and more into Him, loving Him more and more as the process of sanctification is worked out and the pleasures of the world will grow more and more faint. We are asked to give up this brief little life for an eternity so wondrous that our minds cannot even conceive of it.
I cannot make anyone believe that, of course. But I do with all my heart, and it is why I reject my own sin every time and in every way that it shows itself and have turned -- and keep on turning -- away from sin and toward God, my beautiful Redeemer, the Author and Perfecter of my faith.
Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.
But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him. Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.
1 Corinthians 6:9-11, 17-20
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