Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
Philippians 4:8
There are some holidays that I just can't get my head around. Halloween is one of these. Through the years, I have grappled with this autumn marketing nightmare of a manufactured holiday. I have researched the beginnings and found negligible and inconclusive references to the medieval Catholic custom of All Saint's Day on November first (of which the word "Hallowe'en" would be a contraction of All Hallow's Even referring to the evening before) and to an ancient Celtic festival called Samhain. In neither case--the end of summer feast nor the day of prayer for the martyrs of the Church--do I see anything resembling the harvest-time debacle celebrated today with haunted houses, costumes that have become more elaborate as I have grown older, and mountains of candy. All in all, I am not really sure why I dislike this holiday so much, but this year I have taken some time to ponder my reasons.
Perhaps it is the simple fact that I sometimes get the feeling some forgotten economist in our nation's history sat around and cooked up holidays to stimulate the market in lagging months. I feel the same about Valentine's day quite despite the fact that the late-winter candyfest celebrates love rather than all things gruesome and rotting, though that is a rant for another day. Perhaps this is not the case, but I do know that what once was a relatively minor event in which moms would slap a worn sheet or a ten-cent set of plastic teeth and grandma's old faux fur coat on their kids and send them out to collect candy has now become a major merchandising spree with all stores sporting a variety of black and orange candies, dishes, and a dizzying display of costumes ranging from fairly simple to incredibly elaborate--and expensive.
Then again, it may be my abhorrence of all things ghoulish. It's not that I think others are wrong for enjoying the ghastly and the macabre, but I personally do not find pleasure in them. To me, it is an annual reminder of pre-Christ fascinations for which I am now ashamed. You see, in my youth before I knew the Lord, I had an interest in the occult, I read about the wicca, I toyed with Ouija boards. I was genuinely innocent, not really believing in such things but I did have a sort of morbid interest in the possibility of a spiritual realm beyond what I could see. During these months, I had a handful of encounters that shook me, including one where a random man whom I had never met walked up to me with a knowing look in his eye and handed me the card of a wiccan high priest.He was gone when I looked up from reading the card. There were other occurrences that I would rather not bring up, but suffice to say that in those few but closely-timed events, the mask of this world slipped and I saw that there was a very real, very present spiritual element behind the shiny surface of the American dream.
Fortunately, my naivete was so great that these things conspired not to draw me in but to cause me to reject the darkness vehemently and began the process that opened my eyes and heart to my Lord Christ. I cannot claim any merit of my own for this, only that the Lord had designs on my life and used my youthful interest to awaken me to a greater reality. This is why, when I finally came to Christ on my knees and broken that I had even entertained the thought of dabbling in things so vile, I had absolutely no trouble accepting the fact that "our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness..." For me, this was not a poetic description but a gritty reality. I had seen those spiritual forces of wickedness, faces leering at me, smug in their certainty that I would come as they beckoned.
The fact is, there is an actual evil stalking this world today. It can be seen murdering babies in the womb in the name of convenience and in the "you deserve it" mentality of self-gratification. It is found in children's programming that champions disrespectful and selfish attitudes and in adult programs that endorse negative thinking towards spouses or children. It is evident as abuse in the guise of disciplinary action and lurks behind the lack of any confrontation or discipline for wrong behavior or the refusal to accept responsibility for sin. It gnaws the face off a homeless man, and it quietly swindles elderly widows, sometimes even in the name of Jesus Christ. It is both brutal and subtle, shocking and silent. It displays itself brazenly in hideous, revolting ways and it dazzles and confounds with a slyly handsome facade.
Evil is a reality, and I simply do not wish to parody or play with it in any way, nor do I wish my children to be desensitized to it in even a small degree. Halloween reminds me of the gruesome realities of the greater spiritual battle that we face each morning both out in the world and within our own hearts. It makes me sorrowful for all those who are yet deceived as I once was, lulled into complacency and unaware of the spiritual battle that rages around them. It reminds me that I am the chief of sinners, once rejecting and mocking the King who died as a substitute for me. I am humbled and grateful at the extent of His forgiveness, and because of it I have no wish to revisit in even the most playful or lighthearted way the darkness of my past.
I want to be clear: I cast no judgement upon others who find enjoyment in haunted houses and zombie makeup. Perhaps it is simply that my faith is too small for me to enjoy these things. . . I am fine with admitting that, for I have not yet moved a mountain nor caused a tree to uproot and plant itself in the sea. There is nothing in my life to point to a mighty or an earth-shaking faith, and I certainly do not think more highly of myself because I choose not to participate in the October 31 festivities. I simply do not enjoy them in the slightest, and this little rant is merely a partial summary of my reasons. I do not need reminders of the evil in this world. I am far too weak, and such things only trigger anxiety. Each year I have dreaded the day, and our family has done everything from participate in ministry outreaches such as "mugging" houses (giving candy and a mug instead of taking candy--one of my favorite Halloweens ever) to renting a hotel room and going swimming at the indoor pool. Whatever we end up doing each year, I do know that I would much prefer to avoid all that is fearsome and ghoulish and keep my mind fixed instead on all that is good and just and pure and holy--on the Author and Perfecter of my faith. Only enveloped in His presence do I find hope, joy, and peace. And that, my friends, is precisely where I want to be.
I thank him who has given me strength, Christ Jesus our Lord, because he judged me faithful, appointing me to his service, though formerly I was a blasphemer, persecutor, and insolent opponent. But I received mercy because I had acted ignorantly in unbelief, and the grace of our Lord overflowed for me with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost. But I received mercy for this reason, that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display his perfect patience as an example to those who were to believe in him for eternal life. To the King of ages, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory forever and ever. Amen.1 Timothy 1:12-17
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