Trust

Nebuchadnezzar answered and said to them, "Is it true, O Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, that you do not serve my gods or worship the golden image that I have set up? Now if you are ready when you hear the sound of the horn, pipe, lyre, trigon, harp, bagpipe, and every kind of music, to fall down and worship the image that I have made, well and good. But if you do not worship, you shall immediately be cast into a burning fiery furnace. And who is the god who will deliver you out of my hands?"

Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego answered and said to the king, "O Nebuchadnezzar, we have no need to answer you in this matter. If this be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of your hand, O king. But if not, be it known to you, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up."

Daniel 3:14-18

     In recent weeks, God has been speaking to me about the things I trust in. I long to be a person who trusts in Him and Him alone, to say in adversity as Job said, "Shall we receive good from God, and  shall we not receive evil?" (Job 2:20). I know that in the past, I have often trusted more in my ability, but lately that seems to be sliding away. My memory, once nearly photographic in quality, is now spotty at best and has begun to fail me more often than it serves me. My hands, never exactly nimble, are experiencing spells of numbness and my fingers often feel awkward and clumsy. The energy I once had to get up early and stay up late, accomplishing so much in between times, is flagging and I find now that sleep claims me if I am still for very long. So much for ability!

     At first, these things and many others caused me a great deal of distress. I would agonize over the fact that I seemed to need wider margins than ever in my life and mentally flog myself over the many tasks I had forgotten. I found this idea of being stripped of my native abilities to be exasperating and distasteful, and I railed against it for a season. However, after some time of reflection, I have come to embrace it as this, too, is a reminder that while my "outer self is wasting away, [my] inner self is being renewed day by day," (See 2 Corinthians 4:16). In dislodging my self-reliance, God has caused me to more and more rely on Him to get things done. Of course, in order to do this, I must also learn to trust Him to set my schedule, an aspect of control that I find I am still struggling to disengage.

     As I have walked through this new season of my life and am becoming more at ease in it, I find myself questioning more and more where my trust truly lies. There have been times in the past where I was tested and proved false, my faith more in the abundance of provision or in the tranquility of my circumstance rather than in the Provider of both. Now, as I finally begin settling in to life as His servant, it is my fervent hope that I will trust in Him no matter what He allows to happen in my life.

     My hope has shifted, you see. My hope is not in God to save me from pain, from suffering, from debt, or from disease. My hope is simply in Him. Period. He has already saved me from sin, and for that I am eternally grateful. Whatever He allows in my life, I will choose to trust, though the way be difficult and the purpose be hidden from my sight. I know that He is my reward, not riches; He is my comfort, not circumstance; He is my portion, not health or abundance. Those are all wonderful gifts to have and to enjoy, but I know that tat any moment hey may be removed without warning or recompense. In the breadth of a heartbeat, everything that I hold dear may be snatched and my entire life can be altered--except for my Rock, the God in whom I trust. He alone will never change, He alone will never fade, and He alone is what I will cling to when the tides turn.

     In part, it is helpful for me to remember the many who have trusted in Him throughout history. Joseph--hated by his brothers, sold into slavery, imprisoned for a crime he refused to commit--remained steadfast and eventually was allowed a glimpse of God's purpose in his pain. Daniel--enslaved and his life threatened both by the temper tantrums of Nebuchadnezzar and the weak will of Darius--continued to trust in God and worship Him alone and was delivered. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego also declared that their God was able to deliver them from the fire, but even if He would not, they would still choose Him over the golden image. Job said, "Though He slay me, I will hope in Him," at a time when his family, his possessions, and even his health had been cut off.

     There are many others, none perfect but each a reminder that God is worthy, that He is true, that His ways are inscrutable to us and yet perfect in purpose and in timing. It is a blessing that we may occasionally glimpse the wonder of His plan, but it is no less a blessing to rest on the fact that we do not need to understand in order to trust Him. Not all of God's heroes saw their fortunes restored or themselves protected from evil. Paul was flogged, stoned, thrown in prison, and most likely beheaded for his service to the Lord. Isaiah was sawn in half for his faithfulness. Peter was crucified. The lives and deaths of these men, too, serve as reminders that our hope is in God alone and not in position or circumstance. However, once we can wrap our minds around the fact that He is our portion, our inheritance, and our reward, we will finally have true peace, knowing that whatever our lot may be, our Father has His hand in it and will bring about His good. When we live only for His glory and pleasure and not for our own, we will never again go unsatisfied.

Scripture quotations are from the ESV^® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version^®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.