Little Things

"Watch therefore, for you know neither the day nor the hour. For it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted to them his property. To one he gave five talents, to another two, to another one, to each according to his ability. Then he went away. He who had received the five talents went at once and traded with them, and he made five talents more. So also he who had the two talents made two talents more. But he who had received the one talent went and dug in the ground and hid his master's money.

Now after a long time the master of those servants came and settled accounts with them. And he who had received the five talents came forward, bringing five talents more, saying, 'Master, you delivered to me five talents; here I have made five talents more.' His master said to him, 'Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.'

And he also who had the two talents came forward, saying, 'Master, you delivered to me two talents; here I have made two talents more.' His master said to him, 'Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.'

He also who had received the one talent came forward, saying, 'Master, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you did not sow, and gathering where you scattered no seed, so I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground. Here you have what is yours.' But his master answered him, 'You wicked and slothful servant! You knew that I reap where I have not sown and gather where I scattered no seed? Then you ought to have invested my money with the bankers, and at my coming I should have received what was my own with interest. So take the talent from him and give it to him who has the ten talents. For to everyone who has will more be given, and he will have an abundance. But from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away. And cast the worthless servant into the outer darkness. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.'"
Matthew 25:13-30

     Since the beginning of my walk with the Lord, I have wanted to go on a mission trip. The way has never been open for me, and at first it was a source of discouragement and frustration for me. As I have come to understand my God more and more, I have begun to understand why He has not let it happen just yet. For one, at the beginning my motives were wrong. I wanted to go because it seemed like what a good Christian ought to do. In part, I felt obligated by the simple fact that "everyone else" did it.The reality of this was that my true motives were for myself, not for the sake of the Lord or His kingdom; more about looking good or perhaps feeling good about myself. It's hard to say exactly--my reasons at the time were a bit fuzzy, I fear, but I am rock-solid certain that they were not out of pure adoration for and obedience to the Lord.

     Even though some of my motives have since been changed by Him, He still has not opened a door for me to go on a mission trip out of the country or even within it. He has opened my eyes, however, and I have learned immensely without leaving my native soil. One thing that He has made clear is that I am a missionary right where I am, or at least, it is His will for me to be so. If my Master would have me follow Him here in Tennessee, going to the ends of the earth would be nothing more than a distraction from my duty. I am not saying foreign missions or mission trips are wrong--far from it! But I do know that if it is not God's will that I go, I do not need to try to go just because it is my will.  This is where we come back, as always, to following Him. If it is God's will that my life bear witness for Him right here at home, perhaps to my children or to a difficult acquaintance, than traveling to spread the Gospel in the Sudan would be a sin rather than a God-honoring sacrifice. You see, unless He calls me to do it, there would be no point to it except self-glorification. None of us who belong to the Lord have any business doing anything as an act of service to ourselves, no matter how cleverly disguised as an act of service to others it may be. My entire being needs to be fixed on the Lord and on obedience to Him, nothing more.

     In all of this, God has been speaking to me about what my walk with Him looks like on an entirely mundane level. He has shown me that my longing to go on a mission trip has mostly been because I am so certain I can be Godly and trust Him in a circumstance where there is nothing else to trust. This is probably accurate. However, He is not impressed with how well I can trust and obey in a different circumstance--He is concerned with how well I trust and obey right here at home, surrounded by laundry, dropped crayons, abandoned drawings, shed fur, and dirty dishes. I am only as good a disciple as I am at my worst, in front of my husband and kids when I am tired and bogged down by minutia. It is then, when no one else sees me, that the true me comes out, revealed by my circumstances. This is the me that needs to "take every thought captive to obey Christ,"--not the public, polished me who would probably do wonderful things on a mission trip, but the private, hidden me who persistently fails to open my mouth with wisdom and teach my children with kindness. This is the me that God is revamping right here where He planted me.

     I also now realize that it would be easy to be Godly in front of people who have never seen me at my worst, never known how cranky and self-focused I can be, and who have never had me snap at them for leaving their socks in the middle of the living room floor. It is easy to appear patient to those who have never had cause to make me impatient. It is much more difficult, at least for me, to follow the Lord's commands to live peaceably with all (see Romans 12:16-18, Colossians 3:12-17, 1 Thessalonians 5:12-18, et al) right here in the confines of my own home and in the relentless press of what needs to be done. So for me, for the time being, God is wanting me to work on my little things--my faithfulness on the home front, my mission field among my family, neighbors, friends, and grocery-store clerks, before He sends me somewhere I can reinvent myself. He is calling me to deal with my faithfulness on a day-to-day basis, with those He has placed in my life right here and now. He is calling me not to run away and do great things in His name, but to be humble and do little things, everyday acts of obedience, humility, and love here on the home front. In short, He is calling me to do His will and not my own.


"The end of all things is at hand; therefore be self-controlled and sober-minded for the sake of your prayers. Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. Show hospitality to one another without grumbling. As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace: whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies--in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. To him belong glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen."1 Peter 4:7-11

Scripture quotations are from the ESV^® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version^®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.