It struck me several days ago during a casual conversation that it is quite impossible to live on this earth without having an impact on anyone else. In order to avoid having any effect on any other person, even a slight effect such as causing them to wonder briefly if you are in a bad mood, one would have to live in a relational void with absolutely no contact with another human being. To put it very bluntly, this simply means that it is impossible to hurt oneself without hurting others. There are no crimes perpetrated against self only; they all have repercussions to others.
For example, a drunk or a drug addict does not merely poison his body--he poisons his relationships. If he is married, he puts the bottle between himself and his wife. If a father, he adds an element of embarrassment and confusion to his children's view of him at best, if he is a placid drunk. If he is a more typical angry drunk, he brings in fear, suffering, and often condemns them to live and grow within the abuse cycle, either becoming abusers themselves or accepting abuse as normal. If he drives under the influence, he risks--and sometimes robs--the lives of others. No matter how self-contained he may seem, if he does not get help and kick the habit, he destroys himself and brings heartache to those who love him. He does not merely harm himself, he is an indiscriminate inflictor of harm.
Another common view I have heard is that any sexual act that happens between consenting adults is completely harmless. This is also bunk, unless the consenting adults in question happen to be permanently committed to one another. Otherwise, they inflict any emotional baggage from said act on any future partners without regard for that partner's feelings in the matter. If, by some flight of complete idiocy, one or both of the consenting adults is already married, they by their self-serving act bring an emotional wrecking ball into the marital relationship and, if children are present, ruthlessly batter them in the process. Sex, then, is also not merely a personal, private act unless it is, in fact, kept between two people. Otherwise, it is somewhat clownishly public.
I will confess that I have been either party to or vicitm of both of these points of view, and therefore I have no qualms in railing against them, for in doing so I rail against my own past and my own foolishness. I am the clown; I am the idiot of this story. There were many other ways in which I sought to destroy myself and ended up damaging others, but I shall not go into those at this time. However, I am delighted to say that this interconnectedness works in more pleasant ways, as well. Love, too, can trickle out from others and heal the destruction left behind. There may be scars, but the healing beneath can be complete.
I found this love in no other but the one the Jews called the Messiah, for I was far too damaged at the time I met Him to even see it in others. It was the stunning realization of His love and humility that caused me to see past my own pain to the harm I caused others by continuing to nurse it. Once enough healing had taken place that I could limp along a bit on my own, He began to show me the messy, imperfect, and glorious love found in the community of true believers. Now I find it is my duty to love others rather than to loathe myself. It is at this time my fervent prayer that love will be my whole motive, that selflessness will replace selfishness, and that those who were wounded by shrapnel in my battle with myself will find the same healing, the same peace... and the same shock of cold water waking them fully to the Absolute Truth.
Scripture quotations are from the ESV®
Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®),
copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News
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