Instant Christian, Just Add Water?

Here I sit, in my morning place where I meet with God, and my thoughts are terribly jumbled. I am at war with my culture, it seems. Our pastor spoke last night on a widening gap between the church and the culture in America. He is correct about the gap, but I also see a widening gap between the words of the Bible and the church as represented in America. That is the gap that troubles me more.

It would make sense that a breech should exist between Christ's church and the materialistic and increasingly fast-paced culture we live in. What does not make sense to me is the shortcuts we see in modern Christianity. We have become a culture of frantically active, instantly gratified, deadline-driven folk. As Christians, we want to drag the lost to the cross, celebrate briefly when they see it with naked eyes, then shove them out the door to service. This has bothered me since the beginning of my walk and I have only just put words to it. It's true that I am just as guilty, just as willing to serve up a single-serving Gospel message and then expect that to fill the wadi of the soul enough to prompt the overflow of service. In truth, I think too many of us take occasional sips of the Living Water rather than drinking our fill and allowing Him to well up within us. I ran across a quote that gave wings to my thoughts on this matter:

"If then you are wise, you will show yourself rather as a reservoir than as a canal. For a canal spreads abroad water as it receives it, but a reservoir waits until it is filled before overflowing, and thus communicates, without loss to itself, its superabundant water. In the Church at the present day, we have many canals, few reservoirs."--Bernard of Clairvaux

That is it, precisely. There are many toddlers in the faith fumbling about, teaching others from their little and quickly burning out their spiritual energy. There are few who are willing to take the time to drink deeply of our Lord and quench their own inner thirst first. That is what I rail against--this battle inside my heart to do what is accepted in our culture. I have strained against my Lord's loving arms, "Let me run, Abba! Let me serve as the others do!" He has lovingly allowed me to trot off only to see that my own legs simply will not carry me as far as I believed they will. He lets me fall to see how young I am, how weak, how little I know. Then He takes me back in His arms and says, "Not yet. I have much to teach you yet, Little One. Service is nothing to Me if you do not obey." Ahhh, isn't that exactly what I tell my own children? "The best help you can give me is to obey my words." I say it, then I ignore it from my own Father. Foolish child that I am!

These things first began to bother me as I read through the Bible again and again. Not a single one of God's "superheros" came out of their very first experience with Him and conquered the world! No, to the contrary, they communed with Him, waited on His timing, loved Him, and learned from Him. Abram waited 25 years for his promised son. Moses spent 40 years in exile before receiving his commission from God. Joshua was first Moses' servant for unknown years before he became a leader. David was not anointed and immediately crowned--he faced years of uncertainty if his life would even be spared! Years of pressing into God further, trusting in Him... Paul--arguably the greatest evangelist who ever lived--also had a time apart before the greatest part of his ministry began. We know that after the 3 days of fasting and praying following his dramatic encounter with Christ on the Damascus road, he "immediately ... proclaimed Jesus in the synagogues, saying, "He is the Son of God." (Acts 9:20) Recall, however, that Paul was rigorously trained in Jewish law and tradition. He was already an authority on Scripture as it existed at the time! He was not a new convert whose only previous brush with the Word of God was seeing John 3:16 on a highway billboard. And even he, with all his zeal and all his knowledge was sent to Tarsus by the brothers of the faith. We don't hear from Paul again in Acts until Chapter 11:25 when Barnabus went to Tarsus to look for him. We know from Galatians that the interval could have been as much as 14 years (see Galatians 1:13-2:1). For Barnabus, it was no matter of dropping Paul an email and then hopping a bus or plane to head over to 34 Tarsus Drive. There was a good deal of leg work, asking questions, and certainly a great deal of time involved in finding him. I believe that God used this time to eradicate the remnants of Pharisee within Paul and to draw him in to closer fellowship with Himself. Paul was the first modern Christian, perhaps, champing at the bit until the Father reined him in and caused him to rest, reflect, and ripen.

So I am in a place of seeking now. I am learning to rest in Him, be with Him throughout my day. No more excuses that I don't have time... He gave me this family and I am attempting to make every toy I pick up, every t-shirt I fold, every dish I wash an act of worship. I am diligent to seek Him in the morning before the kids are up, even when I don't feel like it. On those days fatigue overtakes me and I sleep in, I snatch a moment to read a Psalm and pray, or I do it along with the kids. More and more frequently, I do both. I try to remember that He is with me everywhere I go. I make an effort to talk with Him about the joys, frustrations... even the temptations and sins I stumble on as I go about my day. I meditate on His word, sometimes in quiet, sometimes amidst the chaos of family life.

Do I find that I fit in nicely to this world with all this? Well, no. No, not at all. I have never seen Survivor or American Idol. I don't know what music is popular, nor do I know if my clothes are in fashion. What I do know is this: I can not possibly keep up with this world and allow God to stretch my heart in the ways I feel He desires for me. I can't give in to the temptation to look like a good little Christian and be visibly active in my church at the expense of my relationship to Him. Of course, once I relinquished that desire to "look good," He opened doors of service for me that are less visible--how glorious to obey! However, before I can afford to be busy, I must first develop the habit of continual awareness, continuous prayer, constant communion with Him. Jesus was able to balance an incredibly hectic pace in service to others with His relationship to the Father, but then sin never separated Christ from the Father until that horrible moment on the cross. And even Jesus didn't start His ministry from the cradle but took time to mature into a physical man. My whole point is, if our Lord took the time to mature, what on earth makes us think we can do otherwise?

Great Blessings

Yesterday was quite a day... It started as a simple zoo trip with a group of moms. My children and I were enjoying the fellowship, the beautiful day, and the immense variety of God's creation. I had a unique sense of my Father's presence throughout the day and was filled with love for each friend and each sweet child present. We all seemed to work together to keep an eye on all the children as if each of us had 14 children. It was beautiful, and beautifully illustrated the old proverb, "It takes a village to raise a child." I was able to thoroughly enjoy moments with my own precious brood as well as little talks with some of the other children and the sweet joy of simply watching them all interact. What a gift friendship is!

Then the adventures began. The first was a runaway wagon that I saw coming down a small hill and heading into the brush. One of our little group had been pulling and lost control, and my middle daughter was inside with 2 other little girls. By the grace of God no one was hurt--not even a scratch from the overhanging branches--and we were quickly back to trekking to the picnic tables. I was able to enjoy the story from the perspective of one of our friends, who is a gifted storyteller and can make you laugh until you fear public embarrassment! From fear to fun, and what a gift laughter is in releasing tensions!

Not long after, one expectant mom and I decided to take a break and head on over to the playground so the kids could run a bit and she could rest a little out of the sun. We'd hardly taken 5 steps when a passerby informed her that there was a bug on her 2-year-old's face. We looked, and Little Miss was rubbing a swollen, red eye! Was it simply sunscreen in the eye? We went to wash her face and it turned out that there was more to it... Off we drove to pick up some Benedryl! After some time, the swelling went down, the little one seemed better, and all 4 kids wished to go back and try the playground once more. Whew!

On my way home for a last-minute scramble to get everyone cleaned up and gather materials for our community group, I happened to see a car on the opposite side of the interstate swerve off the road. I felt concern for the driver and took a look in my mirror to see if they were able to regain control. Instead, my stomach clenched as I watched the car skid through the grass and tip to briefly stand on it's headlights before flipping upside down. I began to pray and fumbled my silly little cell phone out, trying to unlock it and dial 911. Thankfully, someone else was quicker than I and they already had the appropriate vehicles dispatched.

By the time we reached home, I was supercharged with adrenaline! I was also filled with a powerful love and appreciation for all of the family and friends my God has surrounded me with. Perhaps it was watching the vehicle accident; someone who was not spared after my own friends and family had been spared twice. I do know that there have been times when I have grumbled at the duties involved in keeping up with it all, times when all I wanted was a few hours of peace, quiet, and time alone with God. Yesterday, God met me amidst all the chaos, the noise, the crowd and I was filled with love almost beyond what I can bear. I felt a love that couldn't have been from my own heart: it was far too great, far too painfully sweet. I am convinced that He allowed me to sense just an eyelash-worth of the weight of love He carries for each one of us silly, selfish, thick-headed sinners. I cannot imagine further! I was up much of the night, just lying in my bed and talking to God, thanking Him for the experience, for my family, for my friends. Thanking Him for allowing me to glimpse something greater than I can ever concoct on my own. Praising Him for His mercy. Delighting in His presence. What an awesome God we have!